The Odd One Out

Namaste Sweet Spirits,
How many of you felt when you were a child that you didn't quite fit in? The more and more I coach, I find that a feeling of not fitting in, being the odd one out, or feeling not even of this world, is a common thread between a significant amount of people.

As a child, I remember not understanding when my friends’ parents, or even at times people in my family, would point out others who were of a different religion, different color, or different ethnicity, and perceive them as wrong or less than. It didn't make sense to me. I remember once when I was  about 10 years old saying, "I don't get it. The only thing that is different between them and me, is that they have different color skin."

This extended out into other areas of my life. In school, I had no problem being one of the 'popular' kids, but I also fit in with the rebels, the theater kids, the 'nerds', the athletes, and so on. What I found was that the popular crew didn't like this, so I got shunned a few times in my life throughout elementary, middle school, and high school.

It had always been easy for me to see beyond the exterior of someone, and to see what I call now....the Spirit. When I see that, it is almost as if I can see their essence shining through beyond how they have been conditioned to show up in the world and beyond the color of their skin, their religion, the status of their family, and their intelligence. Interestingly, in the past, this was a source of feeling like the odd one out because it was much different than how many others perceived the world.

I found that in seeing beyond the story of someone, I wanted to dig deep and have juicer and more intentional dialogue. I wanted to understand why people did things, understand their family dynamic, and their feelings. What I found was that most people not only  felt  uncomfortable with this,  but I was also judged for for "too much processing."  It was so interesting to see that most people would only see what I consider 'the surface.' I commonly found myself being with others where the conversations were more surface focused, caught up in the story or exterior of someone instead of the Truth. So my choices were to jump into the drama and judgment with them, or be the odd one out, which often left me feeling alone.

I want to be clear that  I don't perceive it wrong to see the differences in others it is just different from me. I have learned over the years that I enjoy surrounding myself with people who operate like me. I enjoy being with people who look beyond the stories, the personalities, the masks, and see the Spirit of the individuals. In that, I feel more connection.

I am completely dedicated to honoring our differences and CELEBRATING our differences. We have spent enough time on this earth making one another wrong for being different. Let's embrace how absolutely fantastic our individualities are!!

Home Play:

*How often do you find yourself struggling to have conversations with people that feel judgmental or surface focused?

*When you acknowledge that happening, notice if you are judging them for not seeing as you see, or if you are making yourself wrong. Notice how you feel.

*In those moments, how can you see them as just different and celebrate them for that difference? And, how can you honor your seeing things differently, and even begin to consciously seek out others who see life more like you? In that, consider putting a little more time and energy into those relationships, instead of the ones that  leave you feeling drained.


Sometimes it is with our family and closest friends that we struggle the most with this. That is so common and there is a way to navigate through it, follow your heart, and create peace. Reach out to me for support around it.

I believe, you are most joyous, connected, and free when you are in your Spirit. What are you waiting for??

Again, reach out for coaching or to attend one of our intensives or retreats to immerse yourself in this work with likeminded people.


Live From Your Spirit, Love Your Life,

Valerie D'Ambrosio