I have a friend who travels with her family three times a year, and I stay at their house to watch their dog, chickens, garden, gecko, guinea pigs, and frog. I love this because, me, the urban girl from New York, gets to play ‘farmer.’ It’s kind of hilarious to me. They had eight chickens and last time, and they told me one was in the garage. I wasn’t able to hear the explanation, so I just tended to everything per usual, giving a little extra love to the chicken in the garage (since everyone needs connection).
Fast forward months later, ‘Farmer Valerie’ was called to duty. They left me a text saying there was only one chicken and he was out in the chicken coup. I didn’t hear further information until a few days later I called my friend to inquire. I was curious as to what happened to the other chickens. He exclaimed to me, ’The chicken that was in the garage was ostracized by the other ones, so we had to separate her. Then recently, when Boulder had that horrible wind storm, the door of the coup was opened when we came out to feed them, all of the chickens were gone, probably eaten.’ So, the one chicken, that from my human perspective, I felt so sorry for, was actually the survivor.
Life is fascinating. Just when we think that life is happening to us, and we judge a certain situation as painful, wrong, or even tragic, when we step back, we can find that grace exists. It is easy and common to spiral into chaos and overwhelm when life seems to be happening in a way that is not how we would want it to unfold. It is normal to judge things right and wrong in the world. The thing is, when we do, not only are we usually limiting ourselves of other possibilities that our limited mind hasn’t yet conceived, we are also frequently projecting from a past experience or certain beliefs that don’t necessarily serve us.
Take a moment to watch to your VDA Coaching Tune Up on another little tale about how this might look and how to perceive life slightly different in order to open to different possibilities:
*How often do you notice you are trying to control the outcome of situations in your life, both on a small and large scale?
*When things don’t turn out the way that you thought they ’should’ or that you wanted them to, what happens? What do you feel? What are your thoughts? Where do you feel it in your body? And how frequently does this occur in your life?
*Awareness is the first step! When you notice the above more consistently and notice it is causing you more suffering than necessary, consider incorporating the feeling of Trust in your life and practice:
-Pause and take a deep breath, bring attention back into your body. Use your body to be a resource for getting back into the present moment.
-Tap on your sternum and say internally or externally one or more of the following mantras: ‘Everything is unfolding perfectly,’ ‘Life is happening for me,’ ‘I am never given anything in life I cannot handle.’
We live in a society where there is a lot we can, or are supposed to ‘control.’ We have access to so much at any moment and we have so much freedom to change what we want. In addition, we all have a NEED for certainty. That said, it is easy to become excessive in our need for certainty and to get frustrated when things don’t turn out the way we want them to, leaving us feeling out of control, which doesn’t sit well. Here’s the thing, we have very little to NO control of external circumstances, only internal. This is an uphill pursuit, friends. So how about we propagate the idea and feeling of Trust in our lives more?
At VDA we offer different ways of strengthening this ability, for we feel that internal adversity is one that is so important to become aware of, nourish, and overcome. Launching late spring will be a 3 week course on Understanding Our 6 Human Needs. Stay tuned, for this is an incredible tool to understand and apply in our lives in order to experience greater personal success. Also check out the upcoming workshops and retreats, or contact me personally about one-on-one coaching.
With so much love and deep respect,