‘Turn Your Expectations Into Appreciation.’ -Tony Robbins
I use a tagline frequently with VDA Coaching: 'Expect Great Things.’ I see and understand the value of this, and have invited this way of being into my life more consistently over the years. Recently, I started to see where I unconsciously was doing exactly the opposite…I was expecting to suffer.
We live in a time that is so completely full. Our days are filled with so much to do while time seems to move so quickly. We respond by doing whatever it takes to sustain this pace. This 'filling up’ all of the time leaves us unable to witness certain patterns and behaviors that may not be serving us, where we can easily fall into certain ways of being that are exact opposite of what we desire. However, because we are moving so fast, we don’t catch it, and then it turns into a habit where it is so deeply engrained in us, we just accept: ‘Well that is who I am!’ or, ‘That’s just the way it is!’ We become a victim of circumstance.
The gift of spaciousness is an opportunity for self-inquiry. Why am I choosing to do that? Say that? Be here? Spend time doing this? Why am I in this job? Why do I spend time with this person? These kind of questions may not always feel good because we may notice the choice we previously made no longer serves us. This means change is needed to experience something different. This change may not feel good because it means we may lose certain things and people that we have grown accustomed to.
A conundrum, yes? We know it’s not good for us, yet we continue to do it anyway because it’s easier to just leave it as it is and not ruffle any feathers. Moreover, there is WAY too much uncertainty as to what may be on the other side, and THAT will leave us feeling out of control.
Take a moment to watch this VDA Coaching Tune-Up on a pattern I noticed, where I continued to draw in more personal suffering, and how I began the process of how to show up differently:
I hear myself internally repeating a Marianne Williamson statement regularly,
"Your level of thinking is what got you here. You’re the problem, you’re not the solution."
So, what do we do when we hold a firm belief that something is true: ‘This is how it always is. Or, I am not good at this.’ Most people make that belief a part of them and blame themselves, someone else, or external circumstances.
So what do you do if you are terrified of change AND are aware you only know one way of being in this circumstance? You lean in. You pray, you ask for help, you get out of the way. We are so limited by our boxed minds. We are operating off of past experiences and our beliefs… and those are limited. The universe is infinite and there are limitless possibilities available to us in all moments!
First: It’s imperative to create space for guidance to come through. What does that look like? Some suggestions: Intentionally move slower through periods of your day, like making breakfast in the morning, or while in the grocery store, open yourself up to noticing something different. Go out in silence for a walk and just be in nature or with what is. Pause and take a few breaths, just witnessing your breath going in and out.
There are many ways to simply invite space in. Over time, this can become a new habit. In this space, you are opening to something greater than just your own thoughts and patterns.
Second: When you notice yourself spiraling down thoughts of expecting the worst, pause, take a breath and invite in the possibility that there is something else here. Even though you don’t know what that something is, because you have perhaps never seen anything different, allow yourself to be open to the possibility.
Third: Congratulate yourself for noticing that pattern. Automatically, many of us will beat the crap out of ourselves for ‘going there.’ Question for you, ‘How does that pattern support the idea of expecting great things?’ Celebrate the ‘mini successes’ (which is actually HUGE), and instead acknowledge that you interrupted a harmful pattern. That is where it all begins; awareness is the first step.
Fourth: You must have a belief in something greater than you. A force that exists in and outside of you that is always preset. It’s this glorious energy that turned an embryo into a baby, that makes your heart beat, that turns an acorn into a tree. Whether you believe in God, Spirit, Angels, whatever it is, allow yourself to open to that energy. An example of what I say internally or externally:
‘Dear God, I have NO idea what to do at this moment to experience joy,pleasure and abundance in this area, please show me the way. Thank you’.
Then I EXPECT I will be shown the way. This can be centered around having the belief that you are not good with money, in relationships, with health or having the physique you wish to have, parenting…ANY area of your life where you feel you are experiencing something other than what you desire.
Please note, again, we are living in an instantaneous society, so we often want things to have happened yesterday. Yes, things can happen in any moment. Remember, you have strong beliefs and habits that are so engrained and are your default. Allowing yourself TIME to notice the signs, to implement them, and build this new way of being is so important. In addition, allowing the universe TIME to show you the path in subtle ways. The minute we expect it to show up in the way WE think it should, we are potentially in conflict with the greater plan of Spirit. Again, we only know what we know, so let’s get out of the way, shall we?
So my friends, expect great things! You deserve and are wired for greatness. Not because of anything you are doing, just because you are you. You are so much more than your physical body, your mind, your feelings, your career, your stuff. You are a glorious, infinite Spirit who is a gift to this world. Thank you for being you! Lean in for support on the physical realm at Vdacoaching.com if you would like coaching. We are here to support you living a thriving, pleasure-FULL life!!
With deep love and respect,